What a month! Beginning this Friday, I will be, with the help of my family, getting the boys moved to college. MOVED. I have to stop and let that word settle in. I must be honest and tell you that I have already had a few “ugly” cries. It is not easy for mamas to let go of their babies, even when it is time for them to spread their wings. It has been a roller coaster ride, really this entire last year. We survived senior year, and that was a year of last “firsts.” And just now I realize that last year was the final moment for me to capture the “back to school” picture with my twins standing together. It is crazy how it is sometimes the little things which occur to you after the fact and bring you to your knees. I wish that I could deny that I am actually sitting on the couch writing these words as best I can, barely seeing through the tears. At the same time I think, we have worked for these days, and I have done my very best in raising these boys. They have been poured into by our entire family all these years. My mind has been running a million miles a minute and the words “I hope they do well,” “I hope they make good choices,” “I hope they are happy,” “I hope they are safe from physical and emotional harm” continually pass through my head and heart. I know that I will no longer be just a bedroom away to fix a problem if possible. Letting go is so hard. So tonight, I am trying to stop and breathe and gather perspective. There is a season for everything, right? Seasons change and this world and the people in it must transition. That is an age old fact even told to us by Solomon.
Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 3 that “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace….He has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11).
Just in case you are wondering, yes, I understand that THIS SEASON was our goal all along, for these boys to grow and mature and eventually to move out and on with their lives, with education, work, and at some point their own little families. And I am super excited to hear their wishes, hopes, and dreams. I want desperately for them to be happy and successful, whatever that may mean to each of them. But these guys were practically my entire world for so.many.years! Single parenting them from the time they were just two-years-old until the age of 17 made the bonds protective and tight. And I have always and will always love them to the moon and back. So tonight, I ask for your prayers! Please pray for my boys and pray for me and for poor Ray who has had to console me a number of times already, and well, while I am really excited to settle them into their new places, I am big time dreading it at the same time. I know that I am walking a path that is “walkable” and has been done by so many before me and so many even at this very time. I have friends and family who will be going through this next year, and it is my hope that I will be a strong encourager for them. I have faith that I will walk out of this stronger on the other side.
As stated in Philippians chapter 4, verse 6 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6). So, tonight, I am trying to focus more on our Father and less on my own weaknesses. I know that I need to strap on my big girl boots and face this straight on. God is with me and He is good.
“…Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9).
My favorite verse in the Bible is Jeremiah 29:11, which I used to read extremely often while living the single life and raising my little boys. It was so comforting to me, and so I am compelled to read it today: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11). I really do not know what will happen a month from now or a year from today, but I have faith that God is in control and that He will take care of us. He is faithful and always on time.
Best wishes to all who are transitioning from one season to another right now. Your season may be a different one than mine, but you know who you are. In honor of my boys who just graduated from Snook Christian Academy (Eagles), I will close with this beloved scripture “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31).
You are strong enough to do this with God’s help. Just breathe.
Love,
Misty Reynolds